I found out i was pregnant on my mam's birthday, we were in total shock because yes we both wanted children but we hadn't been trying. However we never once thought about a termination and it wasn't long before we started to get excited about becoming parents. My family had booked a holiday on the 19th September to celebrate my parents renewing their wedding vows after many years together so we kept the news to ourself and planned to tell everyone when we got back. I went to the doctors to see if it would be ok for me to fly as it was my first pregnancy and i didnt know whether flying could affect our baby. The doctor gave me a check up, confirmed the excellent news and assured me it would be fine to fly. Your Daddy was just so excited so we decided to make it feel more real we went shopping and got you a few things. We bought you the cutest little outfit, mittens, little vests, a blanket and a teddy. You would have looked perfect in them, it started feeling real, I had our little baby growing in my tummy! The hospital had sent me a card to go for a scan, Daddy couldn't come so I went alone. I seen you on that little screen you were perfect but because the printer wasn't working I couldn't take the scan pics home, but after all we had many other scans to go to so i wasn't too upset. It was time for us to go on holiday, Daddy said goodbye to us I could tell he didn't want us both to leave but we had to. The holiday was amazing, you had me off my food and always tired but I didn't mind I knew you were worth all of it! We flew back home on the 2nd October and everything seemed fine until i woke up on the 3rd October with terrible stomach pains and bleeding very heavily. I knew this wasn't normal so I went to the Doctors and he said it was fine some people do bleeding during pregnancy it's nothing to worry about. Your Daddy came to see us as he had missed us both so much, he rubbed my tummy and spoke to his little princess for ages! A few days later the pain and bleeding hadn't got any better so I went back to the doctors, this time my doctor was on holiday so I had to see a trainee one. He started by asking me loads of questions and explained that sometimes women can have a miscarriage but as i was 18weeks pregnant it was very unlikely but he needed to check anyway. He done a pregnancy test and it was positive, yes im still pregnant i though until he explained that my hormones in my body might stil think im pregnant when infact im not! He then sent me to the hospital so i would have a scan, the nurse looked for you but you had gone! I could tell by her face it was bad news, Mammy just started crying and left the room leaving Nan alone with the Nurse it was all a blur, I just had to get out of there they must be lying my baby is fine shes in my tummy safe! It was then I rang Daddy and told him the heartbreaking news, his gorgeous little princess was gone! It hurts Mammy so much not knowing why you were taken! We both miss you so much princess, I sleep with your little vest everynight and carry your little mitten in my handbag, a little part of you in always with me. Sleep tight princess when you left you took a part of Mammy & Daddy away with you, no one will ever be able to fill that place apart from you.